NEWS SATIRE!!!
THE BIBLICAL CHARACTERS:JEZEBEL AND AHAB PLOT ANOTHER ROUND OF EVIL
PRESS FIGHT:JEZEBEL HOLDS NIGERIA HOSTAGE
………………………………….DEFIANT TYRANT:DEBO ADESHINA CALLS PAEDIA
FOUNDER VIA A PARABLE IN STUPID MONDAY COLUMN A TERRORIST
…………………………………ARROGANT AND PROUD:DEBO ADESHINA CALLS SOCIAL
MEDIA SAMBISA FOREST BUT REMAINS AN ACTIVE MEMBER
…………………………………JEZEBEL USES BLACK HITLER TO UNLEASH TERROR ON
THE 23RD OF MAY,2016
………………………………..JEZEBEL WITH LATE HUSBAND HAVE SACKED WELL
OVER 2,000 WORKERS IN 12 YEARS TO KEEP DUBIOUS AMATEAURS
………………………………JEZEBEL WITH LATE HUSBAND SUPERVISED THE
PROMOTION OF ABOUT A DOZEN WORKERS OR SO IN A FIRM THAT HAD NOT DONE SO FOR 8TO
10 YEARS IN 2007 TO COVER-UP SCAM
,FORGERY SCAM NOW IN ITS 12TH YEAR
…………………………………….JEZEBEL WITH LATE HUSBAND PRACTICED A CULTURE
OF SLAVERY,SERVITUDE VIA AN OBNOXIOUS LABOUR POLICY IN CONNIVANCE WITH FILTHY
STAKEHOLDERS
…………………………………….CHIBOK GIRL’S SAGA CAMPAIGN IN THE GUARDIAN
NEWSPAPERS IS FOR BRANDING PURPOSES,IT DOES NOT REFLECT WHO THEY ARE IN INSIDE
RUTAM HOUSE
…………………………………LADY MAIDEN IBRU IS BIBLICAL JEZEBEL
REINCARNATED IN THE 21ST CENTURY
…………………………………..DESPITE DOCUMENTED EVIDENCE NIGERIAN BAR
ASSOCIATION,NIGERIAN POLICE FORCE,NIGERIAN UNION OF JOURNALISTS,MEMBERS OF THE
NIGERIAN GUILD OF EDITORS SUPPORT WALKING DEMONS
…………………………………REPORTAGE AND MEDIA INVESTIGATION SUFFERS
COMPLETE BLACKOUT THUS EMBOLDING DEBO ADESHINA
……………………………………DEBO ADESHINA,IS ALSO DUBBED NEWSRROM
BUTCHER,BLACK HITLER,DEBO-THE-DUBBER AMONG OTHER NAMES ON ACCOUNT OF HIS BAD
ETHICAL CONDUCT
…………………………………..NIGERIAN PRESS:EVIL CLAN NOW CLEARLY IN
DISARRAY
…………………………………….MAIDEN IBRU IS A MORAL PIGMY
…………………………………..MAIDEN IBRU DOES NOT CARE IF NIGERIA BURNS,SO
LONG AS SHE READS A CREDIT ALERT ON HER MOBILE PHONE
………………………………….THE GUARDIAN NEWSPAPERS HIJACKS ALIKO DANGOTE
TO COVER-UP HUGE HOLES IN THE PURSE
………………………………….AMBODE AND ADESHINA’S RANTS ENOUGH EVIDENCE
THAT EVIL CLAN IS COLLAPSING
………………………………….STOP PRESS:HEADS SAID TO NOW ROLL INSIDE RUTAM
HOUSE
AS AT PRESS TIME,BUT
PAEDIA EXPRESS AWAITS OFFICIAL PRONOUNCEMENT
She looks very beautiful and even despite her age,Lady
Maiden Ibru will still make a lot of heads to turn anywhere she goes.
She is an outrageously beautiful woman, but this is as far
as the sentiment goes, because inside of her is a satanic force darker than black itself or else how can
one explain her reasons for deciding to keep in her employ people who are
professionally tagged as misfits and should ordinarily be in prison if Nigeria
were to be a sane environment.
In a related issue,The fight to control news and
dissemination of information got even messier at the weekend as the forgery
scandal rocking the Nigerian press got into its 12 th year.
Checks by the News office Desk of Paedia Express Multimedia
in Lagos,Nigeria showed that after the verbal confrontation between the Lagos State Governor and the
founder of Paedia Express ,the gang up against the latter has become even more
serious.
On the 25th of April,2016,Governor Akinwunmi
Ambode was spotted alongside Former Vice President ,Alhaji Atiku Abubakar at a
London function in a photo news which
was published on the front cover of the Independent Newspapers of
Nigeria.
Ordinarily ,this will have been a normal shot but judging
from the fact that the spat between Ambode and Adeku took place a week before the meeting,then it
was interpreted as an attempt by officials of the Lagos state government to
promote the politician as an independent person rather than been viewed as a
stooge of any politician..
It is strange that the former veepee considered a filthy
political rag by the Tinubu political camp was the one chosen for this shot by
Ambode,a die hard Tinubu associate: what an irony…..
It would be recalled that about the time of the verbal
confrontation, a sundry information about two Nigerian scammers who tried to
defraud Governor Ambode started to trend and was even promoted to high heavens
as state propagandists tried to douse
the tension in the state.
Paedia Express Founder, Mr Abdulmumini Adeku after raising
an alarm at Governor Ambode’s attempt to use executive fiat using the Nigerian Police
to lay siege in front of a junction near
his private residence in the name of security so as to make his godfather, Tinubu
happy later relaxed this ,but it would appear that same has since resumed as at
press time.
On the 25 th of April, and 26th April,2016,pictures
of Mrs Maiden Ibru and Africa’s leading business magnate :Alhaji Aliko Dangote
were splashed in front of the day’s edition
of The Guardian Newspapers who gave the Hausa born business magnate guru
an award as Man-of-The-Year for 2016.
Speculations are rife that this award would have set the trader back by at least
N1Billion as usually moguls pay for them .
It is strongly believed that since The Guardian Newspapers
is losing a lot of money due to the forgery scandal rocking its boat since
2004,this is one of the ways the owners of the firm have cooked up to block the
holes in the loss of revenues and give the general public the impression that all
was well in there domain.
The disgraced publisher, Lady Maiden Ibru, who had been
underground since the scam broke big time to a traffic of at least 4billion
people globally suddenly got her her mojo after a recent meeting with Chief
Ajibola Ogunshola ,Former Chairman of The Punch Newspapers at an Institute of
Directors meeting where a picture between the two was captured by The Punch
Newspapers.
This may not have being unconnected to a back cover
editorial comment by The Punch Newspapers in which it was critical of The
Guardian Newspapers, though it never made mention of the forgery scam rocking
the Rutam House outfit…
The Paedia Express editorial team had also spotted a denial
from Professor Wole Soyinka on Tinubu as
his public relations team tried to package his bad public image.
The highly respected Nigerian denied praising him as alleged
in a newspapers reportage thus fuelling
suggestions that there was a clandestine
effort to dress Tinubu in a royal garb at all cost even if it appeared
suicidal.
There has being a lot of altercations between Eko
Foundation, The Punch Newspapers ,Lagos State Government over the choice of
Kongi as the Chairman of Lagos at 50
fiesta.
Checks also showed that between February to March,2016,an
award was held in the television
broadcast sector of The Nigerian Press with Television Continental winning in
major categories in an industry that also had the likes of Channels Television,African
Independent Television ,Silverbird amongst others.
It is believed that this event was fixed to massage the bruised
ego of Ashiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu .
It was eventually gathered by this reporter that even the online
newspaper award by The Guardian Newspapers was fixed to give a wrong impression
to cover-up that all was well as the brand does not have the highest online
traffic among Nigerian newspaper companies.
On April,21,2016 ,Pastor Williams Kumuyi was featured on
page two column,Naija Heroes as a hero in the Nigerian nation by The Guardian
Newspapers .
Feelers suggests the way the highly respected clergy was
bruised by Paedia Express as the latter rebuked him for moving around Nigeria
with a forgery expert in the name of faith while allowing a charlatan to pose
as a professional journalist, well,it would appear that this did not go down
well the highly respected clergy and now
Eluemuno Emeka Izeze ,a member of the evil clan has to manipulate the news by
arranging public relations hypes for the man so as to help massage his ego or
placate him.
On page 15 of April,2016 edition of The Guardian Newspapers
,the brand promoted its Man-of-The Year awards which it claimed took place at
Wheat Baker in Lagos, Nigeria strictly by invitation.
What a lot of people did not know was that Alhaji Aliko
Dangote was chosen carefully as the
winner because of the desire by the company to use the award event to “milk-him”dry
as they were losing a lot of money to Paedia Express onslaught
via the social media.
It was for this same reason ,a back cover column was created
so as to have Mr Debo Adeshina ,say good things to make the public happy on
Mondays.
This would equally afford him and The Guardian Newspapers to
repair there battered image ,though the page actually runs from Mondays to
Fridays every week.
On the May,23rd,2016,Mr Debo Adeshina literarily
went berserk as he went haywire in his Monday column,on the 4th
column, paragraph three,page 64 back cover of The Guardian Newspapers ,he
called the social media commentary of
this reporter as akinned to Sambisa Forest.
His Words:”in the best of climes ,the social media with all
of its titillating attributes of instant information ,entertainment and
commentaries is often times not an introspective ,engaging platform of ideas”
“in Nigeria,the situation is worse,the social media
landscape here is not too different from Sambissa Forest ,a jungle in which all
sorts of nincompoops roam freely with so much scum swirling in their skulls”
“Decency of conduct
is alien, the language is cruel,uncouth,cynical and spiteful,in the worst
of English and humanity is given little or no consideration”
“that is the breeding ground for the insinuations and cruel
innuendoes about the girls who were found near the insurgents stronghold last week”
“The suggestions that locating Amina and Sarah was stage
managed for a positive outcome for the Buhari regime is an insult to the
President,the height of insensitivity to the anguished parents of the Chibok
girls and a mockery of the collective agony of Nigerians,not to talk of sympathizers
across the globe”
An elderly psychologist
speaks:”Adeku,you will never be a member of Boko Haram in Jesus name”
“The man ,Debo Adeshina is evidently afraid and ashamed of
all of his actions towards you in the past which has now being exposed to the whole
world and this is why he is feeling terrorized”
“It is clear case of envy
and jealousy ,to think that a man can use a situation in which a lot of
people commented to use as a way of attacking you”
“That he did not mention your names at all shows the level
of fear”he added.
“The insult he has thrown at you are no germane ,it is fake
and nobody will believe him at all with
the level of evidence stashed up against him”
“He is just trying to buy himself some importance,do not be
surprised that he can deny insulting you
under a legal situation as he never mentioned your names in the article”
On the 28 of May,2016,this reporter spotted in the days newspapers
officials of the Newspapers Proprietors
of Association of Nigeria [N.P.A.N] at the Presidential Villa but conspicuously
absent was Lady Maiden Ibru who ordinarily should have wanted to use the event
to make a brand statement considering the group’s recent mileage but instead her son,Mr Toke Ibru,the Group
Executive Director of the dubious brand represented her .
It is strongly believed that the disgraced publisher ran
away from Aso Rock Villa because of th
fear and shame associated with her stupid actions to retain professionally
incompetent twats in her firm against every form of conventional wisdom.
In the pictures of the N.P.A.N meeting at the Presidential
villa,Mr Azubuike Ishiekwene ,another Editor who should be in jail by now for
fraud was seen ducking behind one of his colleagues for fear of the discovery
and leakage of his past shenanigans by Paedia Express in its reportage.
Checks also showed that when N.P.A.N officials met earlier on with the Minister for
Information ,Alhaji Lai Mohammed ,Mrs Ibru was also absent as well.
A source critized Mrs Ibru for been a very big crook by her
decisions to retain all the crooks in her midst .thus raising questions about
her own moral strength.
