Email
pete|r_mayaki@yahoo.com
Hmm, seems I
am in a good mood today. I just can’t really tell why, am just happy like one
who took a little alcohol and got tipsy, but far from that. May be my husband
is on the way.
Call me aproko, amebo, tatafo or what have you,
I will gladly answer because I have got a steaming gist for you guys.
Last week, I
was sitting comfortably in a BRT bus from CMS to Maryland I was so tired to the
bones. I was actually on the verge of dozing off when the conversation of the
two ladies behind me got more interesting and I was fully awake to eavesdrop on
their gist.
Well what
actually caught my attention weretheirlamentations of “after all my investment
on him”. When I gave it my full attention, then I heard the full verse, “how
could kola do this to me”. Hmm poor you, I murmured.
Trust me, I
smartly stole a glimpse behind me to see the features of the lamenting lady;
wow! What I saw was impressing. She looked more like a Banker or well
sophisticated working class lady. Loaded with lots of money to throw around.
I was almost
forced to console her but to avoid poke nosing in people’s private affairs I
swallowed hard and let sleeping dog. But incase any of you ladies fall in her
shoes; probably dumped by a lover and all you keep singing to like a lost bird,
telling everybody how much you have done for him and bla.bla...bla. Get a grip
on yourself sister. He may be poor, but he gave you something in return. Yes,
his holy fluid! Millions of it at that! Rich in vitamins and proteins, rushing
down your waiting honey pot. And believe me sister, this sort of nourishing
fresh nutrient, you can’t find in any pharmaceutical store!
Once you
contract a relationship, whether out of love or otherwise, it is a symbolic
one. Both of you are giving each other something in one way or another! Of
course, you may choose to disagree with me.
The guys
give their babes money, take care of her and pamper her. She makes sure she
prepares your meals for the duration of the affair. She warms your bed and even
does your laundry.. You are both lucky! But if not, please don’t bore us with, “after
all I did for him or her” You both got something, perhaps him or her more than
you did. Either way, something crossed from left to right.
It is only
our Nigerian babes that see it as a right for a guy to take care of them
financially. Once a babe snags up a new guy, she starts thinking of changing
everything right from her wardrobe down to her menstruation pad! Why must you
see that prospective guy coming into your life as a meal ticket? If he truly
loves you, you don’t need to tell him to buy this or that before he does.
Caring and affection are the natural outgrowth of love. As for me, a guy may be
as rich as Bill Gates, if he doesn’t love me or I don’t love him, we would both
be wasting our time. It is this attitude of seeing men as being responsible for
the upkeep of a girl that makes a lot of ladies wait endlessly for Mr. Rich
guy. Please don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that I detest money. Far from
it! All I’m trying to say is that in any relationship, whatever goes on between
the couple in giving, taking or spending should be 50-50. You take a little and
you give a little, which is the spirit of love.h
I can’t
fathom the reason a babe feels she cannot spoil a guy a little. Don’t men
deserve to be treated like kings by their babes sometimes? It is this attitude
of not caring enough to spend on your guy that is making many ladies lose their
guys to sugar mummies! If there are any set of women that know how to spend
money in taking care of men, they are the sugar mummies. But it doesn’t have to
be this way. Can it be so bad to buy surprise gifts for your guy? Take him out
to lunch? Pick the bills when you eat out? Don’t you just feel that warm glow
unfold inside him when you do little things like that? Don’t you just love it
when he gives you those surprised heart-turning smiles of thank you? The beauty
of it is that you don’t even need to buy something sinfully expensive if you don’t
have the money. Just buy something that will make him realize that if you had
more, you would have done more. Something special to show him that you care. If
you do one for him, my bet is that he would do two for you.
The problem
of sustaining a symbiotic relationship in Naija is compounded by men who feel
it is their God-given right to buy and spend money on a babe once they start
dating her. You’ll see them rushing to buy recharge cards for her as if the
sellers are about to embark on a nation-wide strike! In fact, you will hear
words like: “I will spoil and bath you with money”, coming from them. Some
foolish men would make an issue out of a babe buying things by becoming
interrogators.Questions such as, “Who gave you money to buy this for me?Would
be the belligerent question, rather than a thank you. They forget that a babe
can save from the money they endlessly dished out, if she’s not working. The
major reason a babe needs a man is for him to love and care for her.Try practicingsymbiotic
relationship today and see if your guy would not love you like mad.
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